So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
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