wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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