needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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