i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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