i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
