And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
