Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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