his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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