god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
