He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
