that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
