True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
