Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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