'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize