dude i'm inner monologue high
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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