He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
