I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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