if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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