Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
