So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize