walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
