Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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