Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
