AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
