That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
