I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize