He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just googled if crying burns calories
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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