The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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