Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
