So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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