so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
