I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize