I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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