____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
