We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
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He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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