Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
