when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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