Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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