There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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