Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
