the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
