I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
