I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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