So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize