So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
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He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
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You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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