i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
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