All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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