i don't like sucking hair
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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