Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize