Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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