He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize