dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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