And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize