so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
