At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
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I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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