I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
thus making me awesome and them whores
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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