Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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