I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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