Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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